This is my life.

ebola13 @ 2009-07-02T16:41:00

2009-07-02T23:48:08Z

I sat on the edge of the ocean staring out into the blue beyond. Forever I have wanted nothing more than to make the world into what I want it to be. I crave an understanding that I fear will never fully materialize. To much effort forward into rationalizing my actions left me needing answers that I can not expect to find. To often we seek truth that is not for us to own. Forgive and enjoy the world for all its mystery, you'll be happy you did.

ebola13 @ 2009-07-02T16:38:00

2009-07-02T23:40:53Z

This is first entry in a very very long while, and time has taken its toll on familiar faces. To be perfectly honest I'm not even sure what I should post about. My apprehension is mainly due to the sad realization that no one is going to read this, although that is probably not bad thing considering I'm so out of practice writing that eyes will surely begin to bleed after perusing this post. ...but what the hell!

So I am sitting in the upstairs loft on niflty little cluster home on the southwest side of Las Vegas. My room is empty save for a computer against the wall and two beautiful Dachshunds sleeping at my feet. My bonita is at the store shopping for dinner and I'm trying to pass the time until we get ready for sleep.

Bonita and I have been together for nearly two years and while we have our arguments from time to time, she is a wonderful woman and I'm a lucky man to have found her. She vewry much wants to marry me - and we will when the time is right.

I currently work for the government in the area of aviation security and I enjoy my job. I'm not always the best at what I do, but I'm a helleva lot better at it than many others. I supervisor 40-60 employees everyday, meaning I listen to 40 different sets of problems, complaints, and dramas.

Life is good.

ebola13 @ 2007-09-15T22:20:00

2007-09-16T05:30:15Z

When I was younger I was fully aware that the with time comes erosion and the eventual decline of all things. Time not only effects soil, rocks, landmasses, and the evolution of life; time also erodes and destroys friendships. Bonds that were once thought to be indestructible have become brittle and worn, much like the sand castle bridge that will only stay standing if its left untouched or constantly re-enforced. I suppose that re-enforcement always came from the consistent gatherings that kept us all in sight and in mind. I often wish for those days and wonder if things would be the same as they were. I'll never know... and I'm not sure I want to. Time moves on and so do we all. No malice and no hatred comes from my heart. I have only to memory of great times and great friends to hold onto while I move on in the world. And the occasional phone call. :)

ebola13 @ 2007-09-15T22:17:00

2007-09-16T05:19:59Z

There is little in the way of filler here.... I try to find reason and end up with a salty taste in my mouth. Perhaps the crackers I have been nibbling on are sticking to the roof of my mouth.

Free running.

2007-09-08T05:11:37Z

Recently on another board I post on, a question regarding the realism of the opening chase sequence in the new Bond film Casino Royal was posed. The board member who started the the debate felt that the opening sequence was extremely unrealistic and that it brought the film down in overall enjoyment. After a long debate on the subject a few other members made statements regarding the film commentary and the fact that the sequence had been choreographed by a man named Sebastian Foucan (who plays the man Bond is chasing) and is considered to be the best 'Free Runner' in the world. the more amazing fact is that Foucan created the chase sequence to be realistic and that almost nothing in the scene is imaginary. Now I had never heard of 'Free Running' or 'Parkour' until last week, however, I have spent a large amount of time researching it on the internet and watching youtube videos and have to say that it is absolutely amazing. I'm posting a youtube video here if anyone is interested.

Also, check out www.americanparkour.com

ebola13 @ 2007-07-28T16:29:00

2007-07-28T23:32:23Z

The Screwfly Solution

2007-07-28T23:28:20Z

So many things to say yet not enough energy to really say any of them. I watched an exceptional episode of Masters of Horror last night titled - The Screwfly Solution. It is based on a story by a very famous sci-fi writer who actually won a Hugo award for it. the name of the author escapes me right now. The story is about a biological agent that causes males to misinterpret the purpose of their libidos. Basically men turn violent and begin to kill all women on the planet. It's a well done piece of fiction that has very powerful ideas about the nature of men and women. While the budget is low for this film the story more than makes up for it and I highly recommend it.

ebola13 @ 2007-07-23T23:15:00

2007-07-24T06:20:22Z

I seem to have overlooked the fact that everyone and everything in the world is dead. Every single thought throughout human history is but a stinky belch of intestinal gas squeezed from the putrid decayed flesh of a heaping pile set aside for the rest of the universe to avoid.

The bullshit that floats into my cereal...

2007-07-22T07:09:18Z

So we all know internet radio is about to go bye-bye right? Yes, it's true. About 95% of internet radio stations are going to shut down within the next month due to a new law that requires them to pay royalties equal to what FM stations pay. Problem is that internet radio did about $200 million in revenue last year - that's total for the U.S. The tab they will have to pay to remain online and pumping music through our computers is $1 billion dollars! Guess there ain't as much advertising on the web.

Good bye Pandora - you will be missed.

ebola13 @ 2007-07-18T10:29:00

2007-07-18T17:32:10Z

It's amazing to me just how life can change in only a few years. Some have children, others have successes that move them far and abroad, still others just kinda fade into your memories not to be heard from again. Every single thought I have of the days in the west coast sunshine begin to slip out of my mind and into forgetfulness. No matter how hard I try to hold on to my past it slips away. I suppose this is the nature of life. I suppose I should except the past as done and move into the future with a happy heart and sound mind. Be grateful I am still alive and still in good health. No one really wins against time, but we can play a game that will draw others to the stands.

ebola13 @ 2007-06-30T22:19:00

2007-07-01T05:21:14Z

Well it was an interesting day today. Not only did the whole terrorist attack in Scotland and the near misses in London raise the tension at work but we also had a bomb threat called in against the airport. Scary stuff. Seems that it was a hoax but you never can be sure nowadays.

Anyway it was a very long and interesting day.

This is a rant!!!

2007-06-29T06:09:41Z

This is a rant... you have been warned.

What the fuck are these politicians thinking about? It certainly isn't the people who elected them to office. Again they attempt to pass a piece of legislation that had absolutely no hope in doing anything for anyone. If you want to secure a border you go down there with guns and dogs and you shoot anyone who does not obey your orders. Of course this is the machiavelli way of dealing with the situation and would be looked down upon by too many people who don't live here in this country so why the hell do we really care? Just forget about the problem and eventually it will work itself out with violence and bloodshed.

Now violence and blood shed seem to be the best way for people in this world to get things done nowadays. Well to be completely honest we have been doing it for centuries and millennium so why should we stop now. No one ever won a war with a kind word, no one ever gave up with the notion that they would be destroyed, and no one really cares about the deaths of millions of other people as long as they live half way across the world, just like they don't care about the death of their next door neighbor as long as they die half way around the world.

Today in the news there was a story about Burma and how the government there is committing human rights violations. Well o' gee we are sure sorry about that but no one cares. Burma is half way around the world and the death of a few million people will simply work to our advantage because that will be that many more people not fighting at the gas pumps ten years from now. I have no idea how people can be so cold-blooded.

In light of all the money we are throwing down the toilet bowl that is IRAQ, NASA is currently getting ready to send a satellite out into deep space to study an asteroid. An asteroid. What is wrong with this picture? Nothing? No, no, no... why the hell do we send unmanned robotic pieces of metal out into space to take pictures of rocks. We can't get samples of them, we can't bring any back, we can't really even understand what we are seeing. I say we pull in all the money NASA is wasting and send a man to MARS. WE could do it in about 5 years if we really tried.

Then again we really do need a new source of fuel for our endeavor to the red planet. That source of fuel will come from the oil companies once they realize that petroleum is going to run out. That will be in about 50-100 years from now... so none of the CEOs have anything to worry about, they will all be dead and it will be their grandkids who will have to deal with the biggest energy crisis the world has ever seen. I bet they get a laugh out of that. EXXON recorded record profits last year. Record profits. No shit! The price of gas is fucking out of control. they say they cannot do anything about it. My ass. EXXON was asked at the press conference where they announced record profits, if they were going to invest any of the money into researching alternative fuels. do you know what they said???? NO, they will reinvest the money into finding more petroleum!!! What the fuck is wrong with these people??? Have all the money in the world, then you have what???

There is no honesty in the world today. We are a people of self-interested, self-serving, selfish, blind, dishonest, uncaring, materialistic, conniving, greedy, little pieces of shit. I can't help wondering how kind, caring, honest people make it to old age. We as Americans are inundated from birth about truth, justice, and the American way. Be good to one another, treat each other as we would want to be treated, lend a helping hand when someone is down... these are all values that we as a society claim we cherish and foster but we do not. Few people have caring for anything but whats theirs. I go to the convenience store everday. Everyday I hold to door open for some, whether I'm on my way out or my way in, almost never do I get a thank you. It just rarely happens. For some reason people don't care about being polite. This pisses me off.

Ever pick someone up who is obviously in need of a ride? Ever offer to buy someone lunch when it's obvious they are hungry and have no money? Ever sit and talk to someone who is lonely? Ever tell a complete stranger that they have made your day better? Ever tried to do something for someone you really can't stand?

Of course not. That's not who we are. We pretend to be, but were not.

Day 36

2007-06-28T04:41:21Z

I had a very good day today. Filled with constructive thought and advanced debate I managed to get all my points across to those whom I was speaking in an articulate fashion. I related my ideas and beliefs, poured myself out there for criticism, and allowed other to speak their minds to me. All together it was a very good day.

An old friend of mine spoke to me honestly and passionately about a decision that I did not agree with. Yet, after long thought and even longer conversation I realized it was the right one and I felt better because of it. An unusual amount of clarity has been hovering over me all day. I feel great and I accomplished more than expected. All in all it has been a very good day.

what the hell...

2007-06-25T01:42:56Z

I wanted to do this really cool HTML coded list of my favorite board games and it is not working out in a manner that is acceptable. In other words - da shit be bwoke. I'm not happy about this.

The Last Man on Earth

2007-06-25T01:33:15Z

This is a very good black and white horror film from 1963 that is based on, and very faithfully portrays, the Richard Matheson book I Am Legend.
I bring it up because later this year a new film version of the book is being released with Will Smith playing the main role. I don't have high hopes that the new version will be faithful to the source material but I may still be surprised by a good film. The Last Man on Earth on the other hand is very faithful and whole lot of fun. Slow to start and a little on the shallow side it still portrays a grim world where every living person is dying of an unknown plague. I highly recommend this film.

Calls for Cthulhu - Episode 3

2007-06-24T01:16:56Z

I know that everyone who reads my journal (i.e. no one) has been anxiously waiting for episode 3, since your all to lazy to go to youtube yourselves.. so here it is!

IT IS HERE!!!!!!

2007-06-22T01:37:45Z

The King In Yellow is here!!!!!

Yes I am a geek but I don't care!

Making better decisions for us all....

2007-06-21T01:50:33Z

Well the President vetoed the stem cell bill. Apparently he feels that the country will cross some great moral boundary if he allows us to research embryonic stem cells. Of course it makes no difference that 75% of the country are willing to risk moral damnation in the hopes of curing numerous diseases.

BBC News Story

In the mood.

2007-06-20T02:34:04Z

I have spent a lot of time lately sitting around reflecting on those strange and interesting things that seem to be going on around me. Mind you, I have not found any profound answers that will help me chart a course in life. I have not discovered the meaning of my life, let alone anyone else's. What I have found is a will to live. I am enjoying my life, enjoying my work, and enjoying the people that come and go within it. Things will change, of that I have no illusion. Until then, I say I have it good... not great, but good is good enough.

Nonpoint - Alive and Kicking

2007-06-19T21:28:46Z

Nonpoint - Bullet With A Name

2007-06-19T21:26:14Z

ebola13 @ 2007-06-17T20:04:00

2007-06-18T03:07:21Z

I found a stone on the road today. It spoke to me and asked to be flung into the window above. I assented to the request and tossed that shit through the window. The homeowner was not pleased.

ebola13 @ 2007-06-17T00:10:00

2007-06-17T07:19:55Z

I find the walk after work from my car to my front door to be the best time of my day.
Why?
I would say that it is the knowledge that my responsibilities are finished and the time belong once again to me and me alone.

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There is so much pressure to perform. It breeds an instinct in each of us that drives us to act in ways that we might not otherwise. The idea that working together for the greater good has fallen by the wayside in favor of selfishness and self-serving ideologies. Most of us were taught by our parents to treat other as we would be treated, to take pride in our work, to try and help those who need help the most. All these ideas that once hung around the necks of a generation have been ripped off and cast onto the sidewalk in favor of what is perceived as self-preservation but what is ultimately self-perpetuating greed and condemnation.

ebola13 @ 2007-06-05T21:04:00

2007-06-06T04:05:25Z

Where is everyone? I feel like I'm talking into an empty mic.

ebola13 @ 2007-06-02T22:13:00

2007-06-03T05:25:41Z

Got 100% on both tests. What tests you ask? Well if I told you that then I'd have to kill you.

So, yeah it's good and shit.

Anyhoo..

So there was a man who thought he could do something exceptional but he wasn't sure exactly what that thing was. He tried thinking about it, sometimes very hard other times with little effort, but still no obvious answer came upon him. He asked his wife and she had nothing to say to him, he then asked his neighbor and was given the same blank stare. The man's wife became upset with her husband for obsessing about his life. She eventually stopped talking to him. This did not sit well with the gentleman mainly because he began to question his own sense of purpose. If there was no great action to take that would immortalize himself for generations to come then why was he here? If his wife would not speak to him then why Should live?

The man was so distraught he decided to end his life by jumping off a bridge. the bridge he chose was high enough to give him a grand view of all that lay around him for miles in each direction. He climbed high up into the cables above the road and looked down at the water far below. This was his moment of truth his moment to end the life that he came to believe had no purpose. The man eased himself out over the edge slowly, slowly, then he fell.

The man's wife wept for him day in and day out. The man's neighbor came over with a bottle of wine and a shoulder to cry on. They got married and had three kids and lived a very very happy life together.